The Gay Virgin Fables

"Love isn't a transaction, you don't just get what you put in."
"Why is it gays always feel 40 when they're 18?"

Few of my favourite lines from the show "Boy Culture" (2006)

In one of the scenes, the character named Blowey Joey says "Congratulations! you're a stage two fag."

When asked to elaborate on what he meant, he said " You were a stage one for like, a year, you first come out and think you're not gonna be slutty so that you can find this perfect boyfriend who's also not slutty."

"But now you're stage two, have fun, see a hot guy...screw around."


Oh Sweet Virgin Mary and Joseph! I've been a stage one for 6 years now! ...and counting.

Is this true? Does every gay guy's state of mind go through the metamorphosis of a virginal cocoon to a slutty flutter-by? Is it an inevitable change one must go through before one becomes a full fag? - promiscuous wings and all.

What triggers someone to go into stage two I wonder?

In the land of Gaydom, there is a daily dance of courtship that occurs all over gay networking sites in the dot com universe.

Queer to Queer networking (as I like to call it) is nothing new, and has already been taken advantage of. Sites such as Gay.com, Fridae, Jake, ManJam, Connexion and such, are the mythical Royal Masquerade Ball of Cybergaydom; Where the gay princes search for their queens, or better yet, lifetime civil partners.




The cyber world in general, is a place of mystique and strangers. You can never be sure who you're really talking to behind that cute Username and that immaculate photoshopped picture. The typical setup would start with them filling up your inbox with flowers, hearts or for the hornier ones, pictures of their unwrapped horndogs. They begin to chat you up, and inevitably,they then proceed to the invite to meet up.
Yes my queer as folks,today I speak of the fabled "Cyber Stranger Meet-ups"

I confess, I am a neophyte to the world of online hookups. I've previously ever only gone to one; which I might add, ended up in horrible disgrace.
'Why?' you ask? Well, let us just say I ended up overdressed, meeting three OTHER gay guys,all of whom were in t-shirts or singlets (gay formal?) and one of them being the meet-up guy's boyfriend! Disaster du jour was on the menu.

That was sooo NOT what i had in mind at all.

However,It has been years since. I have just been approached for a meet-up using the rare "Let's just meet for coffee." versus the infamous 'Let's meet for some "Fun".'. For those of you who are a total virgin to Gaydom jargon,"fun" here means casual sex.

Back to the topic. Although I am highly skeptical of the gay community, I decided to try it out even if I wasn't really interested. If nothing, At least I'd get a good post for you blogwhores to read or introduced to a really hot friend of his. Still, I went through the full jitters of emotions. he was sweet enough to reassure me and gave me the upper hand by letting me choose the time and place of our (dare I say it...) date.

My palms sweated and my brain whirred to think of plans. I made sure he gave me his number instead so that my number was safely concealed, if things turned out disastrous once again. I made sure I didn't reveal my address. The time and place I chose had to be somewhere that I felt comfortable in. Bright with people around, so that I can't be raped (I'm serious here!), yet discreet so that it would go unnoticed. I even prepared an exit plan, to be used if things go totally 10-Things-I-Hate-About-You as my date.

Yes, I am Lady Disturbia. However, you can never be too careful when dealing with the Cyber Strangers.
In the Masquerade of Cybergaydom, how do we know who is behind the MSN Mask and the Chatroom Costumes ? Is it ever really safe to meet the man behind the cyber mask? Are we setting ourselves up to meet the Phantoms of the Opera v.9.52?

What are your strategies against these Cyber Strangers?