The Gay Virgin Fables

"Love isn't a transaction, you don't just get what you put in."
"Why is it gays always feel 40 when they're 18?"

Few of my favourite lines from the show "Boy Culture" (2006)

In one of the scenes, the character named Blowey Joey says "Congratulations! you're a stage two fag."

When asked to elaborate on what he meant, he said " You were a stage one for like, a year, you first come out and think you're not gonna be slutty so that you can find this perfect boyfriend who's also not slutty."

"But now you're stage two, have fun, see a hot guy...screw around."


Oh Sweet Virgin Mary and Joseph! I've been a stage one for 6 years now! ...and counting.

Is this true? Does every gay guy's state of mind go through the metamorphosis of a virginal cocoon to a slutty flutter-by? Is it an inevitable change one must go through before one becomes a full fag? - promiscuous wings and all.

What triggers someone to go into stage two I wonder?

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away called Gaydom... there lived a group of people called- Homosexuals. They engaged in dating, sex and relationships, but the rules of courtship were very different from the neighboring country, Straightland.

In Gaydom, it seems that the popular Straightland rules of courtship blurs into confusion. At least,from what this particular Gaylander observes. Where straighties would first meet, then date, then develop feelings, get married and finally have sex; those of Gaydom might meet, have sex, then develop feelings...not get married...have sex again then date, done in no particular order.

Which makes me wonder,
Is there a proper Gaydom procedure when it comes to courtship? or is it all not what it's cracked up to be?

When asked, many would answer that Love should come first. However, a Homosexual couple I know had sex the very first time they met before deciding to develop things from there. It seems that an unprecedented course, such as this, works too as the couple are still together; lasting much longer than the usual expiry date that mark gay relationships.

One night stands are like handshakes to some gay men. After sex, (the glue that holds gay relationships together apparently) these gay men can then judge if the relationship will work or not; perhaps, relationship was the last thing on their mind at the time and they were just out for some "fun", but then it grew to become something else.

So is the famous "meet and greet" one-night-stands the new gay Relationshipometer? A great f*ck = a great future? How will a gay virgin like me ever find Mr Right without such a measuring tool? I know a few no-longer-gay-virgins who caved in at the notion that they wouldn't fit in if they failed to succumb; and such is the sad reality. The nice guys finish last.

I don't wish to judge these methods as right or wrong; but I would propose that the citizens of Gaydom consider the value of slowing down the sexual process a bit. Let love have time to hatch first before we rush into the frenzied chicken-dance of lovemaking.